India Journal 2005, part 5
by
Yogacharya David Hickenbottom

Swamiji was then wheeled into the Centenary Building; I was inwardly instructed to wait there at the gate with the dozens of other devotees. Soon one of Swamiji’s helpers returned to the gate and instructed me to come in. I sat with the Master for some time, and then he lay down for a rest. Swamiji asked that I sit with him while he slept. I assured him I would be honored to do so. Swamiji slept for over an hour while I meditated, feeling a golden glow surrounding him and the whole room. The doctor came and started some treatments; I left at that time. How sweet as the gentle snores had filled the space; I felt the love for Swamiji that one might have for a sleeping baby or child.

Later at night Vinay played Bhajan. This gentle singer conveys such inward devotion, combined with musical talent, that one is both lifted up and appreciative of his skill at the same time. He said afterward his voice was not strong because he has not been playing as much lately as he has been doing other service; we loved our time nevertheless, filming the event.

Another full day. We have been here seven days, but it feels like seven months worth of experience! Time and space are playthings to the Infinite. We are but His instruments when we put our lives into His care. He makes life full, interesting and filled with His Presence.

Jenrri had requested some time today, a “children’s church” (a time I spend with the children in Seattle). He asked for some stories. What came to mind was the story of the Buddha leaving his wife and newborn baby in search of realization; also Papa’s story of the same kind of leaving of family, hearth and kin. When one’s mind is merged in the Divine Mind and one seeks to serve all, what comes to mind is perfect for the occasion without the explicit knowledge by the intellect alone; one can only be the onlooker.

Jenrri and I sat in “Swamiji’s boat,” a concrete structure built in a U shape out in the middle of the field of grass grown for the cows. What a peaceful and picturesque setting for discussing such sacred topics. I feel drawn to this place for its privacy and the vibration it has.

When I was gone a noble-looking gentleman slipped his shoes off and reverently sat on our porch with Carla. When I returned he pronamed deeply, said he was waiting to meet me. He was one, “Mr. P.A. Azziz”.

“For the past week I have had such a strong desire to come to this place,” (Anandashram) Azziz said, “without any known reason. Today I told my wife ‘I must go.’ She said, ‘Why?’ I said ‘I will tell you when I get back!’ Then I saw one Dr. Sudheendran¾ you saw him here. He told me about you, that I should meet you.  I came here and your wife told me you would be at the mandir.  I went there and saw three or four white¾may I say white¾men. I saw one; it was you¾tall, a little fat and handsome. I knew ‘this is the Master’. Now, meeting you, the ache in my heart is gone and I feel such joy!”

Indeed Azziz had tears of joy streaming down his face. Azziz and Dr. Sudheendran are both disciples of Sri ‘M’, a Sufi Master who resides in Madanepalli, A.P. They have been mysteriously drawn to me here at Anandashram. Strange and lovely are the ways of the Infinite. May His Light, Love and Joy ever prevail!  Allahu Akbar¾God is Great!

January 22
Tears, tears and more tears seem to be the order of this trip for our little group here at Anandashram. I was asked, “Why do I have all these tears?” “These tears are the release of the soul. For so many years, lifetimes, we have desired Liberation from the thralldom of suffering. Now, the soul feels the time is at last coming for liberation. There are tears of grief, tears of joy and everything in between. Let the tears flow; let the feelings flow like a great river flowing through the heart. These tears and feelings are not wrong; they are the release of the Soul.” It is written that every tear we shed for God is a pearl on the necklace of Krishna. Tears cleanse the mind and soul and prepare the way, as the cup is purged so that it can be filled with the Divine Nectar.

Carla’s recovery continues well, she reports feeling 95% back to normal. She said that the enforced rest was a good thing after all the activity of these past months. How much better when we can learn to listen to our bodies, minds and souls so all three are working together in harmony without need for enforced rests!  Let this be our goal.

January 23
The Ashram routine goes on. I wake up early, often to write in this journal, chanting in the mandir starts at 5:55 until 6:30 a.m., then some tea; off to the flower ceremony and then breakfast. During the day there is “Swami watch,” word spreads like wildfire when Swami Satchidananda is somehow available (for a “walk” or darshan etc.). Then there is Arati (offering of lighted wicks to Papa and Mataji in the Bhajan Hall) at the noon hour and at 9:30 p.m. Also, there is chanting at the closing of the mandir at 6:00 p.m., (and chanting there all day in between the opening and closing with an hour break at noon).  Bedtime is usually around 10:00 p.m. My time here has been very full with various devotees who have wanted some time, activities of the ashram etc.  It has truly been a blessing, given first by Mother, then Master (as it was he who started it all for Mother) and our Guru-lineage, and of course Papa-Mataji-Swamiji.

A rare event occurred today as a swami here, whom I have known since 1998, asked me for diksha initiation. Normally a swami does not take initiation from a householder. Each day brings surprises that confound the mind.

Azziz returned again today, full of love and devotion. It seems that when he is with me, he feels such joy and peace. It has also spilled into his day as well. The key will be for him to keep the door of his heart open. May God grant it so.

Oh Infinite Light
You are all compassion, Seeking to awaken Your children
Most seem to prefer dream-sleep
But here and there You stir some to wakefulness,
You touch Whom You will
None can anticipate Your moves
But we ask, “Why do you not awaken all?”
For knowledge of You
Brings with it all joy and freedom from sorrow
So, my Dear, awaken all from their false dreams
Remind them that they are lions of realization
Not bleating sheep of fear and desire.

January 24
Greg, Jenrri, Jonni and I head for the top of Manjipatti Hill before sunrise in order to observe the full moon setting and the sun rising. We are a day early (since Greg wanted to chant in the Mandir on his last day at the ashram (Tuesday). So, the moon had set already, but we helped ourselves to a magnificent sunrise.

What a wondrous universe we live in. We can take for granted the cycles of nature, the sun appearing to rise each morning, traveling its circuit and then finding its way to its opposite horizon, the cycles of the season, and migrations of birds – so many powerful events that have repeated themselves for so many millennia. To see it all as sacred adds a depth of dimension to what we observe in this physical world that harmonizes the Soul and this world.

On our way down Jenrri has been regaling us with his stream of consciousness, at one moment his mind reflects a deep truth, at another his creative imagination takes great leaps; intermixing it all into one soup. He pays deep attention as I tell him, “The freedom of being able to imagine our ability to fly is a deep memory of our astral world experience. In the astral world such things as flying, asking a tree for a certain food, etc. all happen easily. Even being able to ‘talk’ to someone at great distances through thought communication is common in the Astral Worlds.

“In the astral body we all have a third eye; it is vertical rather than horizontal. You have these vivid memories of your previous astral life that is why these things all feel so real to you.

“We are told by realized Masters that we can have all the joys and powers of astral existence, but there is still a greater joy and freedom when we realize God. That is the real joy and freedom you seek when you speak of being able to fly.

“This memory of the astral and your desire for joy and freedom are real; you should not, mix those up with pure imagination. Your imagination is an important part of your mind, but it is not the same as truth. Learn to separate the two.”

I could feel that Jenrri was not only listening to this important lesson with his mind, but with his whole soul.

Greg had wanted a backwater trip while in India. In Kerala [State] the land near the Arabian Sea has many meandering rivers known as the backwaters. Boats ply their way through watery mazes that reveal the beauty of both land and water. Kerala State is really a picturesque setting full of flowers, palm trees and birds of every sound and description.

For our backwater trip we had invited Swamiji, but the doctor advised against any such outings. Shyam (meaning the dark color of Krishna) is a young man who has a degenerative disease that makes his muscle movements jerky and spasmodic. Anandashram set Shyam up with a computer and a cable internet connection; a modern “cottage industry” as visitors to the ashram pay for the internet access. Shyam’s father is Ramdas, his mother is Krishnabai; we feel great affection for this family that has long ties to Papa and the ashram. We invited Shyam and his family for this outing to the backwaters.”

With fourteen Western devotees and Shyam’s family we set out in a charming boat with a “woven” covering – in the shape of varying heights of seashells. As we set out we notice an active river-traffic of canoe-shaped boats, propelled by push-poles as they glide by.

Landing at a dock, we walked across a strip of land thick with palm-trees and arrived at a spotless beach on the Arabian Sea. We enjoyed wading; some swam in the very warm surf. Shyam’s sister eyed the surf with fear as she sat at a safe distance. After watching these crazy Westerners frolic in the wave, she at last bravely put her feet in the water, the surf washed around her and a lovely smile spread across her face.

To face our fears invariably reduces them. All fears center around body consciousness. One step in our realization is to overcome those things that create fear in the body and ego consciousness. The final release of fears is to know the Self, Satchidananda. When we know we are eternal Spirit we are then free of fear. Still the body may be startled or initially react to something, but the reaction dissipates – as smoke disappears into the air.

As we watched the setting sun–it changed from lemon to orange to the color of a melting tomato. We all sat entranced as a breeze cooled us; suddenly between us and the last glimpse of the setting sun, a large dolphin leapt into the air and did a complete flip before playfully splashing down to the sea. A collective “Ahhhh” was our response to this outstanding show by Ram!

We were then fed a delicious South Indian cuisine (if not just a little spicy!) while anchored in the river under a full moon and bright starlight. How perfectly Ram arranged everything.

Returning to the ashram we were told by Anantraman that we could have Swamiji’s Darshan. Telling him of our adventure he said, “I looked for you today, (while he was out for a ‘stroll’) but I did not see you.” Carla, Greg and I basked in his loving presence. Once again my gaze was locked with Swamiji’s into some infinite space that is at once, both personal and of impersonal Spirit.

Carla said she has tears in her eyes each time she is witness to this, and that the spiritual power is almost more than she can handle.

Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram

Oh Lord
You are purna, complete.
To surrendered ones
You satisfy all the souls’ yearning
In Your tender care
You also thrill the human in us with such solicitude
How unfathomable You are
Human and Divine merge in Your Infinite Self.

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