March 4, 2007

My dear friends,

It has been a full and interesting week, with many poignant moments that punctuate our last days at Anandashram and in India.

During this last week we had some wonderful, even extraordinary times with Swamiji. One night at 9:40 we were let in to see Swamiji. Swamiji told another story about a man digging for gold; clearly this theme is one he wanted to impress upon us all, both from the standpoint of the physical attachment to gold, and the metaphor of the gold of the spirit as something that has to be worked for in order to find. After telling the story about the man digging deeper for gold until he found it he asked me a direct question.

Swamiji: Why is gold so valuable?

David: No response.

Swamiji: Why is gold so valuable? That is a question for you.

David: Because it is rare—and because it is physically beautiful. Gold is produced only in a supernova, an exploding star is the only time it is hot enough to produce gold; God's furnace!

David: Swamiji, do metals and gems have different vibrations?

Swamiji: Yes, gems have different vibrations. Some people come here wearing so much gold and different gems. They may have something wrong with them. When I have used the pendulum (a crystal pendulum Swamiji has used in diagnosing problems and titrating homeopathic medicines) I have found that the gem they were wearing was, what do you say, not the right kind, it was causing a problem.

Ramakrishna was [pausing, thinking of the right word] allergic to money. Once someone left some money under his bed. That night he was restless and could not sleep. He looked under the mattress and found one rupee. He was so satwic bhava (satwic is pure, bhava is an uplifted state).

David: Swamiji, when we want to pray for you, how would you like us to pray?

Swamiji: Oh God, give me, him, salvation.

David: If we see your entire Being filled with Light, is that alright?

Swamiji: That is only temporary. We should want to get free of birth and death. In the Srimad Bhagavata (a holy scripture in India) it says that in the womb there is pain. The soul remembers its past and the things it has done wrong. We should want to be free of that completely.

After the darshan as our group left, a devotee, M., asked me, "What does Swamiji mean my salvation, we all think he is already realized?

David: What does he mean by me?

M: Oh, you mean all of us, all of creation?

David: Yes.

Now hear the conversation as I perceive it. When I asked, How do you want us to pray for you? What I was asking, when we want to help you, in whatever way we can in your mighty work to redeem this creation, how do you want us to focus our minds?

Swamiji: Oh God, give me, him, salvation. Oh God is the Absolute, above and beyond all relativity. Give me, him, means all creation, both within and without. It is not in Swamiji's nature to ask for something for himself only. His work, his identification is with the whole of creation. Salvation is a spiritual resolution to the conflicting duality of this creation, and we are part of that duality. This duality keeps us bound in ignorance. Salvation is the lifting of the veil of ignorance and freeing individualized consciousness into universal realization.

David: If we see your entire Being filled with Light? If we see all creation, within and without filled with the Light of God, is this alright?

Swamiji: That is only temporary. Since Light (Purusha) is the first expression of God as Chaitanya Kutastha—Christ Consciousness—it is in fact the author of relative duality. It is not relativism itself, as Light is the perfect expression of God. However Light is never-the-less the expression of God, not part and parcel of Sat-Chid-Ananda, the eternal-trinity-essence of God. Therefore Swamiji, in his uncompromising desire for only the most complete salvation, does not want the expression or reflection of God the Absolute, but only the purest terms of enlightenment for one and all, for all of creation itself.

In the womb is pain . The womb of creation is the causal idea of creation. Since creation is systemically designed with the idea of separation then pain must be the natural result. For the fullest (purna) realization, we must go beyond any concept that has a beginning or end, birth or death; one must realize the deathless essence of Sat—pure existence of Spirit.

Through these simple words Swamiji is constantly pointing us toward the most perfect state of Realization. It is profound, moving and exacting! Oh Swamiji, I do pray for your salvation, for the salvation of all. I pray that all minds are fixed upon that highest ideal that you have so perfectly realized!

The day before our leaving my birthday was celebrated with ongoing recognition throughout the day. It started with Chandra coming at 5:35 a.m. to garland me and give me a commentary on the Bhagavad Gita written by Vinoba as well as a bouquet of flowers. Other friends came by: Sri Krishna and his wife, Lalchand and Kamala, Nalini, and so many friends to wish me a "happy birthday and many returns." I was asked to do the noon arati by Kannon, and so the day went. We met with Swamiji in the morning when he presented me with a statue of Krishna for my birthday. Chad had purchased the statue as a gift to his parents; he had asked Swamiji to bless it and now Swamiji was making it a gift for my birthday! Oh Ram, you love your lilas, your plays! That evening after a special dinner that included pappadams, pulao rice, neepam (sp?) or ghee balls, we had birthday cake in the kitchen with Mansi and Lakshmi. It was a wonderful day that ended with a night of packing prasad and many received gifts for our departure the next day.

Finally our last day arrived. What a sweet sorrow this produced in the heart. No restriction of the heart keeps love at bay, and no attempt to stem the flow of pain at a possible last meeting. Oh Swamiji, I bow again and again at your divine feet, no ego-mind exists to restrain the love and gratitude I feel; only by dedicating my entire life to the complete realization of God and service to all humanity can I truly give thanks for all that I have received from you. Indeed, my blessed Guru has led me to your feet, she has blessed this time, for Guru is One and you are That.

After tearing ourselves away from the Ashram we journeyed on for a short visit to Papa's cave in Mangalore where once again the glorious sound of Ram Nam echoed from those hallowed walls of the cave. Those very walls seemed to answer back a beautiful vibration that stays with me still.

In Mumbai we were met by a driver, Mr. Kumar, at the airport and were taken to New Mumbai to a hotel atop a club as the overnight guests of Mr. Gurnani; he and his wife are building a home next to Anandashram and come to the Ashram regularly. At dinner Mr. Gurnani told of his first meeting with Ananda Moyee Ma and his immediate recognition that she was his Guru. He told Ma he wanted to be initiated as her disciple. Ma agreed. This is rare indeed; most devotees were directed by Ma to her own mother for initiation.

On to London where we were once again the guests of Paul and Emma Rowe; we were treated there with all love and hospitality. Paul has his wall mounted television set connected to his computer; we were able to view many of our pictures from India for the first time on a larger scale which was enjoyed by all. The next day we toured Windsor Castle; the Queen of England's home. Here a thousand years of history is condensed into a two and a half hour tour. We viewed the beautiful art, architecture and décor with great interest. Surely such displays bring to mind both the magnificence and the insignificance of man all at the same time. Magnificent creations that bring awe to the visitor, and also a reminder of the insignificance of all that has past and that in the final analysis only the eternal Nature of God is lasting.

On we flew—long hours on the airplane until at last we landed in Vancouver. George was there to pick up Christine, and Jill was on hand to give Chad, Carla and me our ride back to Mount Vernon. Time itself seems to proclaim the dual quality of life. On the one hand it seemed we had been away for a lifetime; on the other, once back, it seemed we had left only yesterday. What remains are the internal blessings that continue to resonate in the heart and Soul. Specific memories may fade with time, but what remains as a lasting gift is the Grace that has lifted us all to a higher place than where we started.

It is quite common to have a letdown after returning from a journey like this. Certainly some in our group have had that; so much preparation, anticipation, so much received, an attempt to measure what was gained. For others the high of so much Grace abides unabatedly. All will carry the gift that comes with a pilgrimage to a truly holy place: a changed soul, never to be the same again. Some changes can be noticed now, some will take years to unfold and reveal all that has been given.

Anandashram was founded to be a place of transformation. This inner transformation culminates in God-Realization, which is when one realizes at last the abode of bliss residing within.

May that bliss be yours, now and always,

David