In his first of four noble truths, the Buddha taught that life is suffering—the Sanskrit word is Dukkha (dukə). Dukkha is a word that is thought to have originated from how an axle fits into the hole of a wheel. If the fit is good, it is called sukha and provides a smooth ride. If the axle is off center it is called dukkha and makes for a bumpy ride. The Buddha taught that the nature of life in general provides a bumpy ride. There is no one English word that translates the word dukkha, but there are sutras from Buddhism (Hinduism has these same concepts predating the Buddha) that describe dukkha as birth, aging, illness, death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, despair, association with an unbeloved, separation from loved ones, not getting what is wanted.
It seems that God has had it in mind that I should be surrounded in the swirling waters of dukkha at this time. Perhaps it is an ugly turn of the stars, but there seems to be a lot of axles in life giving a bumpy ride to many sincere souls seeking realization. What is difficult for the sadhaka is to know that he or she should not be attached to the ups and downs of life, yet suffering is so compelling to the mind—it glues itself to the object of suffering as if it were all in all.
It can be tempting to see the suffering of another and wonder why it is so upsetting to him, or to thank one’s lucky stars that it is not your situation. But compassion, the universal vision makes all lives deeply connected with one’s own, therefore the suffering of another is not simply something to be seen from a distance, but it is a part of you. To be useful to another experiencing such suffering does not require that you too become identified with the object of suffering, for that would be the blind leading the blind, but to be in your oneness with God while also being conscious of the suffering of another.
Conscious oneness with God aligns the axle, it smooths the bumpy ride and keeps life moving in the right direction. It is inevitable that when the road is filled with potholes there will be bumps galore! However, the true axle will see you through every difficulty. I was in close connection with Mother Hamilton as she traversed some of the bumpiest roads I have ever witnessed. Strokes, heart attacks, a severe case of shingles in her face and head that made her convulse in pain without notice or respite—my goodness what a tremendous load she carried! I thought of myself being in her situation and I could not see how I could go on. Yet, I watched in astonished amazement how Mother negotiated these treacherous roads, always telling the truth about her condition when asked, but determined that she should ever serve God and that she should recover full health.
Mother gave me an up close and personal tutorial in how to keep the axle perfectly centered, even on her road of tremendous suffering. And those lessons did not go to waste as God proceeded to put me through all the experiences He had been orchestrating for me; from loss of family and home, vocation and health, going through the “nothingness of God,” the emptying out of the cup of the mind and scouring it of everything I could call my own—until the chaff was separated from the kernel, the seed was ground into nothingness and made fit to enter the fires of the God’s oven. I truly needed to have that time with Mother to show me the stuff of which I would need to be made in order to go through all that God had in mind for me.
Now I can be with the suffering of this world, it swirls around me, but I know that I am not that. I feel the sorrows, losses, pain and misery of others deep within me, yet there is a deeper knowing of Reality that shines beyond every dark cloud—and this makes all the difference. That we may all know this superior Reality, that each one’s axle stays true even through life’s many bumps is my greatest thought and prayer for each one of you. If asked, Mother would say exactly what pain and difficulties she was going through—and through it all she was a fighter. For every difficulty there was a solution, for every pain there was healing in the here and now or in the offing—she sought out God’s healing directly, and God working through physicians and healers. And she was not waiting to feel better to serve God, she served God all the way through; always focused upon doing His will at all times and in all places. Master too went through great suffering, Sister Gyanamata, Papa, Mataji and Swamiji, all so tremendous in God, all suffered in the body even after, perhaps especially after, achieving oneness with the Divine.
If we suffer, we are in good company. Surely, we should do all in our power to remove the thorn causing the pain. And even while in the midst of suffering to look for that which is beyond the clouds of doubt, the agony of the moment. There is a part of the mind that focuses itself on the pain; like drivers slowing down when going by a traffic accident looking for those who are injured. Yet, there is a superior Reality that is not to be missed. When I was at Anandashram I was greatly suffering from an illness; I asked Papa to show me how pain and bliss were the same. He inwardly responded, and I saw him in vision as he took my hands and with a toothless grin began to dance with me around and around in blissful joy. There was a part of the mind that knew the body was still in pain, yet I felt such bliss. Bliss and pain, pain and bliss, they merged and truly became the same. Be this true for you as well when life’s bumps test the trueness of your axle.
Pilgrimage update: We have spent a beautiful couple of days in Ashland with Peter and all dear friends there. Ram’s wind then blew us east, across three 5,000 feet plus mountain passes and on to Lakeview, at an altitude of 4800 feet it is known as “the tallest town in Oregon.” We are on our way to Salt Lake City and from there we plan to have the darshan of Nature’s cathedrals in Zion and Bryce Canyons. Jai Gurus!